"The Murder Mystery"
album _The Velvet Underground_
(The Velvet Underground, 1969)

written by Lou Reed

        [right channel]

Lou:    Denigrate obtuse and active verbs pronouns
        skewer the sieve of the optical sewer
        Release the handle that holds all the gates up
        puncture the eyeball that seeps all the muck up
        Read all the books and the people worth reading
        and still see the muck on the sky of the ceiling

Doug:   Mister Moonlight
        succulent smooth and gorgeous
        Isn't it nice
        we're number one and so forth
        Isn't it sweet
        being unique

Lou:    Relent and obverse and inverse and perverse
        and reverse the inverse of perverse and reverse
        And reverse and reverse and reverse and chop it
        and pluck it and cut it and spit it and sew it
        To joy on the edge of a cyclop and spinet
        to rage on the edge of a cylindrical minute

Doug:   Dear Mister Muse
        fellow of wit and gentry
        Medieval ruse
        filling the shallow and empty
        Fools that dual
        dual in pools

Lou:    Tantalize poets with visions of grandeur
        as their faces turn blue with the reek of the compost
        As the living try hard to retain what the dead lost
        with the double dead sickness from writing at what cost
        And business and business and reverse and reverse
        and set the brain reeling the inverse and inverse

Doug:   English arcane
        tantamount here to frenzy
        Passing for me
        lascivious elder passion
        Corpulent filth
        disguised as silk

Lou:    With cheap simian melodies hillbilly outgush
        for illiterate ramblings, for cheap understanding
        For mass understanding the simple the inverse
        the compost the reverse the obtuse and stupid
        And business and business and cheap stupid lyrics
        and simple mass reverse while the real thing is dying

Doug:   Folksy knockwurst
        peel back the skin of French and
        What do you find
        follicles intertwining
        Succulent prose
        wrapped up in rolls

Lou:    Jumpsuit and pig meat and making his fortune
        while making them happy with the inverse and obverse
        And making them happy and making them happy
        with the cloy and the stupid just another dumb lackey
        Who puts out the one thing while singing the other
        but the real things alone and it is no man's brother

Doug:   Safety is nice
        not an unwise word spoken
        Scary bad dreams
        made safe and lovely songs
        No doom of gloom
        allowed in this room

Lou:    Oh not to be whistled or studied or hummed
        or remembered at nights when the eye is alone
        But to skewer and ravage and savage and split
        with the grace of a diamond and bellicose wit
        To stun and to stagger with words of such stone
        that those who do hear cannot again return home

Doug:   Hello to Ray
        hello to Godiva and Angel
        Who let you in
        isn't it nice the party
        Aren't the lights
        pretty at night

Lou:    Contempt, contempt and contempt for the seething
        for writhing and reeling and two bit reportage
        For sick whit the body and sinister holy
        the drowned burst babies now dead on the seashore
        The valourous horseman who hand from the ceiling
        the pig on the carpet the dusty pale jissom
        That has no effect for the sick with the seesaw
        the inverse obverse converse reverse of inverse
        The diverse and converse of reverse and perverse
        and sweet pyrotechnics and let's have another
        Of inverse converse diverse perverse and reverse
        hells graveyard is damned as they chew on their brains
        The slick and the scum reverse inverse and perverse

Lou:    Sick upon the staircase
        sick upon the carpet
        blood upon the pillow
        climb into the parapet

        See the church bells gleaming
        knife that scrapes a sick plate
        dentures full of air holes
        the tailor couldn't mend straight

        Shoot her full of air holes
        climbing up the casket
        take me to the casket
        teeth upon her red throat

        Screw me in the daisies
        rip apart her holler
        snip the seas fantastic
        treat her like a sailor

        Full and free and nervous
        out to make his fortune
        either this or that way
        sickly or in good health

        Piss upon a building
        like a dog in training
        teach to heel or holler
        yodel on a sing song

        Down upon the carpet
        tickle polyester
        sick within the parapet
        screwing for a dollar

        Sucking on a fire hose
        chewing on a rubber line
        tied to chair and rare bits
        pay another player

        Oh your such a good led
        here's another dollar
        tie him to the bedpost
        sick with witches covens

        Craving for raw meat
        bones upon the metal
        sick upon the circle
        down upon the carpet

        Down below the parapet
        waiting for your bidding
        pig upon the carpet
        tumescent railroad

        Neuro-anesthesia analog
        ready for a good look
        drooling at the birches
        swinging from the birches

        Succulent Nebraska

 - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

        [left channel]

Sterl:  Candy screen wrappers of silk-screen fantastic
        requiring memories, both lovely and guiltfree
        lurid and lovely with twilight of ages
        luscious and lovely and filthy with laughter
        Laconic giggles, ennui for the passions
        in order to justify most spurious desires
        rectify moments most serious and urgent
        to hail upon the face of most odious time
        Requiring replies most facile and vacuous
        with words nearly singed with the heartbeat of passions
        spew forth with the grace of a tart going under
        subject of great concern, noble origin

Moe:    Please raise the flag
        Rosy red carpet envy
        English used here
        this messenger is nervous
        It's no fun at all
        out here in the hall

Sterl:  For screeching and yelling and various offenses
        lower the queen and bend her over the tub
        against the state, the country, the committee
        hold her head under the water please for an hour
        For groveling and spewing and various offenses
        puncture the bloat with the wing of a sparrow
        the inverse, the obverse, the converse, the reverse
        the sharpening wing of the edge of a sparrow
        For suitable reckonings too numerous to mention
        as the queen is fat she is devoured by rats
        there is one way to skin a cat or poison a rat
        it is hetero four hear to three forthrightly stated

Moe:    Put down the rag
        simpering callow and morose
        Who let you in
        if I knew then I could get out
        The murder you see
        is a mystery to me

Sterl:  To Rembrandt and Oswald, to peanuts and ketchup
        sanctimonious sycophants stir in the bushes
        up to the stand with your foot on the bible
        as king I must order and constantly arouse
        If you swear to catch up and throw up and up-up
        a king full of virgin kiss me and spin it
        excuse me to willow and wander dark wonders
        divest me of robes-sutures Harry and pig meat
        The fate of a nation rests hard on your bosoms
        the king on his throne puts his hand down his robe
        the torture of inverse and silk screen and Harry
        and set the tongue squealing, the reverse and inverse

Moe:    Objection suffice
        apelike and tactile bassoon
        Oboeing me
        cordon that virus' section
        Off to the left
        is what is not right

Sterl:  Contempt, contempt and contempt for the boredom
        I shall poison the city and sink it with fire
        for Cordless and Harry and Apepig and Scissor
        the messenger's wig seems fraught with desire
        For blueberry picnics and pince-nez and magpies
        the messenger's skirt, would you please hook it higher
        for children and adults all those under ninety
        how truly disgusting, would you please put it down
        A stray in this fray is no condom worth saving
        as king I'm quite just, but it's just quite impossible
        a robe and a robe and a robe and a bat
        no double class inverse could make lying worth dying

Moe:    Accept the pig
        enter the Owl and Gorgeous
        King on the left
        it on the right and primping
        Adjusting his nose
        as he reads from his scroll

Sterl:  Off with his head, take his head from his neck off
        requiring memories both lovely and guiltfree
        put out his eyes, then cut his nose off
        sanctimonious sycophants stir in the bushes
        Scoop out his brain, put a string where his ears were
        all the king's horses and all the king's men
        swing the whole mess at the end of the wire
        scratch out his eyes with the tip of a razor
        The wire extend from the tip of a rose
        Caroline, Caroline, Caroline, oh
        but retains the remnants of what once was a nose
        pass me my robe, fill my bath up with water

Moe:    No one knows
        no nose is good news and senseless
        Extend the wine
        drink here toast to selfless
        Ten year old port
        is perfect in court

Sterl:  Casbah and Cascade and Rosehip and Feeling
        Cascade and Cyanide, Rachaminoff, Beethoven
        skull silly wagon and justice and perverse
        reverse the inverse and inverse and inverse
        Blueberry catalog, questionable earnings
        hustler's lament and the rest will in due cry
        to battle and scramble and browbeat and hurt
        while chewing on minstrels and choking on dirt
        Disease please seems the order of the day
        please the king, please the king, please the king day
        Casbah and Cascade and Rosehip and Feeling
        point of order return the king here to the ceiling

Moe:    Razzmatazz
        there's nothing on my shoulder
        Lust is a must
        shaving my head's made me bolder
        Will you kindly read
        what it was I brought thee

Sterl:  Sick leaf, sorrow, pincers net-scissors
        regard and refrain from the daughters of marriage
        Regards for the elders and youngest in carriage
        regard and regard for the inverse and perverse
        And obverse and diverse of reverse and reverse
        regard from the sick, the dumb and the camel
        From pump's storing water, like brain is too marrow
        to x-ray and filthy and cutting and peeling
        To skin and to skin and to bone and to structure
        to livid and pallid and turgid and structured
        And structured and structured and structured and structured
        and regard and refrain and regard and refrain
        The sick and the dumb, inverse, reverse and perverse

Doug:   Plowing while it's done anyway
        dumb and ready pig meat
        sick upon the carpet
        climb into the casket

        Safe within the parapet
        sack is in the parapet
        pigs are out and growling
        slaughter by the seashore

        See the lifeguard drowning
        sea is full of fishes
        fishes full of China
        China plates are falling

        All fall down
        sick and shimmy carpets
        rise before my eyes-eyes
        lead me to the ceiling

        Walk upon the wall-wall
        tender as the green grass
        drink the whiskey horror
        see the young girls dancing

        Flies upon the beaches
        beaches are for sailors
        nuns across the sea wall
        black hood horseman raging

        Swordsmen eating fire
        fire on the carpet
        set the house a blazing
        seize and bring it flaming

        Gently to the ground-ground
        dizzy bell Miss Fortune
        fat and full of love juice
        drip it on the carpet

        Down below the fire hose
        weep and whiskey fortune
        sail me to the moon dear
        drunk and dungeon sailors

        Headless Roman horseman
        the king and queen are empty
        their heads are in the outhouse
        fish upon the water

        Bowl upon the savior
        toothless wigged laureate
        plain of bull and fancy
        name upon a letter head

        Impressing all the wheat germ
        love you for a nickel
        maul you for a quarter
        set the casket flaming

        Do not go gentle blazing

* all the strings downtuned a whole-tone

 1d ----- * downtuned a whole-tone (from e to d)
 2A ----- * downtuned a whole-tone (from B to A)
 3F ----- * downtuned a whole-tone (from G to F)
 4C ----- * downtuned a whole-tone (from D to C)
 5G ----- * downtuned a whole-tone (from A to G)
 6D ----- * downtuned a whole-tone (from E to D)

intro   {Am}{Am}{D}{D}

organ   {Dm}{Dm}{Dm}{Dm}

voice   {Am}{Am}{D}{D}                        Lou and Sterling
        {Am}{Am}{D}{D}                        ....
        {Am}{Am}{D}{D}                        ....

        {Dm}{Dm}{Dm}{Dm}                      Doug and Moe
        {Dm}{Dm}{Dm}{Dm}                      ....
        {Dm}{Dm}{Dm}{Dm}                      ....


piano   {E.A/E.D}{E.A/E.D}{E.A/E.D}{E.A/E.D}  Lou and Doug
        {E.A/E.D}{E.A/E.D}{E.A/E.D}{E.A/E.D}  ....
        {E.A/E.D}{E.A/E.D}{E.A/E.D}{E.A/E.D}  ....
        {E.A/E.D}{E.A/E.D}{E.A/E.D}{E.A/E.D}  ....
        ... repeat and fade out

* intro and riff - {Am}{Am}{D}{D} part
(all the strings downtuned a whole-tone)

guitar 1

     {Am}                               {Am}
*1d -------------------------------------------------------------------------
*2A -------------------------------------------------------------------------
*3F -------------------------------------------------------------------------
*4C -10--10-10--10-10--12--12-12--12-12--14--14-14--14-14--17--17-17--17-17--
*5G --0---0--0---0--0---0---0--0---0--0---0---0--0---0--0---0---0--0---0--0--
*6D -------------------------------------------------------------------------

 {D}                                {D}

guitar 2

     {Am}                           {Am}
*1d -------------------------------------------------------------
*2A -------------------------------------------------------------
*3F -------------------------------------------------------------
*4C -10--10-10--10-10---9--9-9--9-9---7--7-7--7-7---5--5-5--5-5--
*5G --0---0--0---0--0---0--0-0--0-0---0--0-0--0-0---0--0-0--0-0--
*6D -------------------------------------------------------------

 {D}                         {D}

* {Dm}{Dm}{Dm}{Dm} part - guitar scale
(all the strings downtuned a whole-tone)

     9  10  11  12  13  14  15  16  17  18  19  20  21  22
*1d -|-o-|---|-o-|-o-|---|-o-|---|-o-|---|---|-o-|---|-o-|-
*2A -|-o-|---|-o-|-o-|---|-o-|---|---|-o-|---|-o-|---|---|-
*3F -|-o-|---|-o-|---|-o-|---|---|-o-|---|-o-|---|---|---|-
*4C -|-o-|---|-o-|---|---|-o-|---|-o-|---|---|---|---|---|-
*5G -|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|-
*6D -|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|-


* chords for standard-tuning

intro   {Gm}{Gm}{C}{C}

organ   {Cm}{Cm}{Cm}{Cm}

voice   {Gm}{Gm}{C}{C}                        Lou and Sterling
        {Gm}{Gm}{C}{C}                        ....
        {Gm}{Gm}{C}{C}                        ....

        {Cm}{Cm}{Cm}{Cm}                      Doug and Moe
        {Cm}{Cm}{Cm}{Cm}                      ....
        {Cm}{Cm}{Cm}{Cm}                      ....


coda    {D.G/D.C}{D.G/D.C}{D.G/D.C}{D.G/D.C}  Lou and Doug
        {D.G/D.C}{D.G/D.C}{D.G/D.C}{D.G/D.C}  ....
        {D.G/D.C}{D.G/D.C}{D.G/D.C}{D.G/D.C}  ....
        {D.G/D.C}{D.G/D.C}{D.G/D.C}{D.G/D.C}  ....
        ... repeat and fade out

transcribed by Shiroh KOUCHI (wildside@mx21.tiki.ne.jp)